Gambling hearts

I've been lying to myself, to everyone for the past few months. Pretending that my life was wonderful as fairytale when it's not. I've been holding on to grudges for a long time and maybe it's time to face it like a woman and be brave to let em go. I believe that things happened for a reason but, I am more interested in knowing what was the reason than being left all alone, feeling miserable and wondering what have I done. It sucks not knowing things. Not knowing what will happen in the future, what will effect our life, what will come and ruin everything around. But we all know that life is full of surprises and unexpected things and we all know that we have to be well prepared to survive. I've been loving this person with all my heart and I've been putting up hopes that he will never leave me alone. But you can't force people to stay with you forever, the only thing you can do is make them to love you as the way you are and pray for the best.